Jesus Rifle Techniques 101

Okay, this has to be one of the most F’d up lines I’ve heard come out of somebody’s mouth in…well…probably just today, but still.


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Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; as I have a meaty pad on my elbow and an AR-15 that likes to kill the non-believers…

Okay, even though I find this extremely disturbing, regardless of the religious reference I would say that some of the videos are worth buying.  The fact that he is an obvious Jesus freak does not discount the credibility of the firearm knowledge he has and teaches, although I’m not sure how you can pitch ‘LOGIC’ as a basis for belief on one hand (firearm knowledge) and then hold illogical religious beliefs at the same time.  He seems to be sincere though, have a good reputation, and most of the courses I’ve seen make sense overall.  The company is Thunder Ranch Inc and is run by Clint Smith.  You can find their website here. This was a clip from their Urban Rifle course. The Defensive Handgun course seemed good for anyone with very little to moderate firearm experience. And if you do already have some firearm experience, then you most likely already know of Clint Smith. Those God Fearin’ people with an arsenal make me cringe, but in this case the information might be worth tolerating the random mention of a convicted criminal who was sentenced to death by crucifixion a couple thousand years ago…but just barely. : )

4 thoughts on “Jesus Rifle Techniques 101

  1. This guy Clint Smith sounds just like most Marine Corps PMIs (Primary Marksmanship Instructors) to me. Just a “Good Ol’ Boy.” And I mean that sincerely. Just because you might not personally believe Jesus made your “little meaty pad” for steadying your rifle aim, is no reason to not be friendly and learn to shoot just as if you did believe Jesus Intelligently Designed your flesh to pad your arm to steady your aim.

    Every Marine male or female, whether vehicle mechanic, clerk typist, electronic technician, or infantry had to learn to kill from 500 yards (remember Lee Harvey Oswald, it’s bullshit to believe he couldn’t shoot). And the majority of Marines, you shouldn’t be surprised, vote Conservative and have Faith in Jesus and believe that “God wants you to kill your enemies before they can kill you.” This is standard Marine talk to, “Fire that weapon like God and Jesus meant you to.” And almost every Marine recruit went to church on Sunday, at the time Me included (I had not yet started reading the Bible for myself as a book of Jewish national literary mythology mixed with Semitic Fertile Crescent history). And I never heard one really Religious Marine recruit complain to superiors that Drill Instructors wanted us to learn to kill for “God and Jesus, and the girl back home.”

    But what you have to remember about Marine recruits upon graduation from Boot Camp is that they are just like a hanging mob of brainwashed high school kids going to a Homecoming Pep Rally for a football team with a loosing record, “Ooh Rah!” Except they are a well disciplined and organized lethal mob, many times just 12 weeks past their own high school graduation. I can say this, I’ve been there at Parris Island just like an anthropologist in the field studying mean green bipedal hominids. I was a 22 year-old ex-paratrooper with 3 years military experience amongst a bunch of green 18 year-old wanna-bees. About 1/3rd of our Platoon dropped out before graduation.

    And exactly like in the movie “Full Metal Jacket,” which is as close as it gets for its day (of course Stanley Kubrick again), we laid in bed, at attention, before we went to sleep every night after we were issued our rifles and repeated this Marine Corps ritual:

    “This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
    My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
    My rifle, without me, is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will…
    My rifle and myself know that what counts in this war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, nor the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit…
    My rifle is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage as I will ever guard my legs, my arms, my eyes and my heart against damage. I will keep my rifle clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will…
    Before God, I swear this creed. My rifle and myself are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.
    So be it, until victory is America’s and there is no enemy, but peace!”
    {and mostly from Wikipedia}

    Phase Two of recruit training is an introduction to field skills, and includes two weeks of marksmanship training {ed. that’s 2 weeks training 12 hours a day; and when you are not “snapping in” dry firing even in the barracks at night you are constantly taking your weapon apart and putting it together (with, yes, blindfold competitions) and cleaning it just to make sure you’ve got “the feel”}.
    The second week (of Phase Two) is known as “Grass Week”. This week is partly spent in a class setting to learn about marksmanship principles of the M16 and how to shoot efficiently. When not in class, recruits are snapping in, or practicing their firing positions. Recruits are taught how to shoot by a Primary Marksmanship Instructor, a Marine of the MOS 0931. While range personnel wear campaign covers similar to drill instructors, PMIs are not drill instructors and generally not as strict in enforcing discipline upon recruits, focusing on marksmanship and expecting recruits to uphold their own discipline. Marine leaders have not allowed recruits to use the AN/PVQ-31 Rifle Combat Optic,however the first company to use the RCO was Bravo Company who graduated on Sept 9th 2011 preferring to focus on fundamentals and teach the use of optics later, at the School of Infantry.[12]

    The third week is called “Firing Week”, which ends with Qualification Day. This week recruits are awakened early in the morning to prepare the rifle range for firing. They spend all day running through the Known Distance Course of fire (also known as table 1), in order to practice their marksmanship skills with live rounds. Half of the platoons will fire at the 200, 300, and 500 yards (180, 270, and 460 m), in the standing, sitting, kneeling and prone positions; the other half will mark targets in the pits. Friday of that week is qualification day, where recruits must qualify with a minimum score in order to earn a marksmanship badge and continue training. Those who fail to qualify are given a second opportunity during Team Week; if they fail again, they are dropped and will repeat Grass Week. The Marines are the only branch of the United States Armed Forces that require the 500 yard line qualification. A trophy is awarded to the platoon with the highest cumulative scores.

    So just remember, at all times, that you are surrounded and outnumbered by Delusional religious people with guns. What more reason do you need to go train at a good Gun Range? And even though you might not believe that Jesus Christ is your personal Lord and Savior, there’s no need to not be able to shoot as if you did, and even use that Vernacular whilst you are at the Gun Range. “Jezuz Christ! Did you see that watermelon explode just like a Liberal’s head!”

  2. I thought it was funny because he pitches “LOGIC” as the core of his courses, and then makes comments based on an illogical belief system. Even if he’s mentioning Jesus, I know he’s half kidding. But why Jesus, didn’t we have those meaty pads thousands of years before Jesus was even born? How is that logic? I mentioned I thought he was sincere and knowledgeable though, and actually plugged his videos. It does kind of seem representative, however, of the religious sect and their love of weapons. But yes, the delusional people are a really good reason to train at a good gun range. The hypocrisy inherent in the religious being gun fanatics just cracks me the hell up…Until they get the pages of their bibles in a wad and go on another organized witch hunt, at which point it may be necessary to put them down like zombies.

    In the end, I think the religious know that weapons are the only tool they really have to try to make others believe what they believe, in order to validate their own beliefs, as attempts to do so with logical arguments fail miserably.

    If God wants you dead, says it is your time to go, sends someone to kill you, and if heaven is supposed to be this great place you aspire to end up at anyway…and if you truly believe in God and heaven…then why in the hell would you want to doubt the decision of your own God and defend your earthly life against the will of God??? Doesn’t God punish those who defy his will. Defending your life could very well get you cast off the list for heaven by doing so… I mean, if they weren’t all fucking nuts to begin with.

  3. I also find it amusing that we knock the muslims beliefs about the merits of an afterlife having died in battle, and then we pitch our soldiers the exact same religious shit…only it is okay because it is “our” religion and really he is “our” God and not their’s. Makes no sense.

  4. Keep in mind in the Old Testament God led the Armies of the Hebrews to smite their Adversaries.

    There was no “Heaven” in the Old Testament. In the original Hebrew it uses the word for “the skies.” God was your good luck charm while you were alive, but when you died you just went to the grave.

    It’s with the New Testament that the Persian, Babylonian, ideas of a supernatural afterlife in other dimensions where you must wear white and kiss God’s ass with saccharine praise for all Eternity comes into play.

    And if you read the book of The Acts of the Apostles in the New Testament, you will find them just using Jesus’ name to kill church members who hold back money from the church. Always follow the money.

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