2 thoughts on “Welcome to my new blog

  1. Does this mean I get to post the lyrics to Frank Zappa’s song “Penis Dimension” here?

    Screw it, I’m doin’ it anyway:

    PENIS DIMENSION

    Penis dimension
    Penis dimension
    Penis dimensions worrying me
    I can’t hardly sleep at night
    ’cause of penis dimension

    Do you worry?
    Do you worry a lot?

    No!

    Do you worry?
    Do you worry and moan…
    That the size of your cock is not monstrous enough?

    It’s your penis dimension!
    Penis dimension!

    (like Jerry Lewis)
    Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah

    (spoken)
    Hiya friends. Now just be honest about it.
    Did you every consider the possibility that your penis,
    and in the case of many dignified ladies,
    that the size of the titties themselves might provide
    moments of subconscious tension?
    Weird twisted anxieties that could force a person
    to become a Politician
    A Policeman
    A Jesuit Monk
    A Rock & Roll Guitar Player
    A Wino, you name it
    And in the case of the ladies,
    the ones who can’t afford the silicon beef-up,
    may become writers of Romance Novels
    Yes, or they become Camelite Nuns

    Ooh, or racehorse jockeys
    There is no reason why you or your loved one should suffer,
    things are bad enough without the size of your organ
    adding even more misery to the troubles of the world

    Now, if you’re a lady and you’ve got munchkin tits,
    you can console yourself with this age-old line from primary school:
    Anything over a mouthful is wasted!
    Yes, and isn’t it the truth

    And if you are a guy, one night at a party
    and your trying to be cool, I mean,
    you aren’t even wearing any underwear you’re being so cool,
    and somebody hits on you one night,
    and looks you up and down and says:
    Eight inches or less!

    Well let me tell you brother, that’s the time when
    you got to turn around and look that son of a bitch
    right between the eyes, and you got to tell him these words:

    (sung)
    What will this evening, bring me this morning?
    What will this evening, bring me this morning?
    Dawn will arrive without any warning

    What will I say the next day to whomever
    I drag to my hotel tonight
    (if things go alright)
    What will I say the next day to whomever
    I drag to my hotel tonight
    (will she be outasite)

    What will this evening, bring me this morning?
    What will this evening, bring me this morning?
    A succulent fat one! A mod little flat one!
    Maybe a hot one (to give me the clap!)
    Maybe a Freak who gets off with a Strap
    Maybe a Freak who gets off with a Strap…

    What will I say the next day to whomever
    I drag to my hotel tonight
    (if things go alright)
    What will I say the next day to whomever
    I drag to my hotel tonight
    (will she be outasite?)

    (Ah yes, the life of a Rock & Roll musician on the road on tour living in 200 Motels)

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